This isn’t jetlag.
It might be jetlag, but i’m pretty sure it’s not. I spent Friday in the CSSD library being not terribly productive, but it was good to kick off again. On one of my moments of internet distraction, I found out that my 1 page pitch for the BBC Writersroom/Ideastap competition has gotten me a place in the final workshop of 10 people.
I was chuffed, but didn’t really think about it until now. Sunday morning, 4.am. And now, I can’t believe it. How have I managed to land myself in this position? I mean, between this new development, the course and Write to Shine, I can’t help but feel there’s a future in writing for me out there somewhere. Y’know, as a job. Incredible…I genuinely never thought I would get anywhere near pulling this off yet here there is possibility. It is, of course, still a bit of a way off and entirely predicated on me getting down and DOING SOME MORE FUCKING WRITING.
I will. I am. I have my projects, my deadlines, and I can’t sleep for the joy at the possibilities of writing them. Naturally, it is terrifying at first and that first hour I sit down, I want to do anything but start knocking out words. I think it’ll be shit…derivative…non-sensical. And, more often than not, it usually is. But a few hours in and it clicks and I’m happy like nothing before. I’m not a naturally quick person, though I will produce decent stuff eventually. I just need a bit of time to gear up.
Such is the case in the longer term – I don’t think I will knock out anything amazing in the next few weeks, which is why I’ve chosen to start with my most developed project. If I’m sleepless-excited now, once I’m back in the habit I might just be insufferable.
Tomorrow, I’m going to Richmond for a long awaited catch up with George and Jen. After that, it’s to Bermondsey for the screening of a short film that I helped workshop and flesh out a story for. Then, dear friends, writing, with the hope of more writing to come.
Sorry for the gush post…just had to fap it out.
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Will get typing up on NY Diaries tomorrow – some churning to kick start the thinkin’.
shut up and deal 