This isn’t jetlag.
It might be jetlag, but i’m pretty sure it’s not. I spent Friday in the CSSD library being not terribly productive, but it was good to kick off again. On one of my moments of internet distraction, I found out that my 1 page pitch for the BBC Writersroom/Ideastap competition has gotten me a place in the final workshop of 10 people.
I was chuffed, but didn’t really think about it until now. Sunday morning, 4.am. And now, I can’t believe it. How have I managed to land myself in this position? I mean, between this new development, the course and Write to Shine, I can’t help but feel there’s a future in writing for me out there somewhere. Y’know, as a job. Incredible…I genuinely never thought I would get anywhere near pulling this off yet here there is possibility. It is, of course, still a bit of a way off and entirely predicated on me getting down and DOING SOME MORE FUCKING WRITING.
I will. I am. I have my projects, my deadlines, and I can’t sleep for the joy at the possibilities of writing them. Naturally, it is terrifying at first and that first hour I sit down, I want to do anything but start knocking out words. I think it’ll be shit…derivative…non-sensical. And, more often than not, it usually is. But a few hours in and it clicks and I’m happy like nothing before. I’m not a naturally quick person, though I will produce decent stuff eventually. I just need a bit of time to gear up.
Such is the case in the longer term – I don’t think I will knock out anything amazing in the next few weeks, which is why I’ve chosen to start with my most developed project. If I’m sleepless-excited now, once I’m back in the habit I might just be insufferable.
Tomorrow, I’m going to Richmond for a long awaited catch up with George and Jen. After that, it’s to Bermondsey for the screening of a short film that I helped workshop and flesh out a story for. Then, dear friends, writing, with the hope of more writing to come.
Sorry for the gush post…just had to fap it out.
Will get typing up on NY Diaries tomorrow – some churning to kick start the thinkin’.