Observations On Commitment (from the Perennially Single)

Lovers, do you want to know if your loving works?
Are you turtle doves or just a pair of –

Well-intentioned dopes with no long-term hopes

Then check how you do with the single folks.
See, commitment’s not selfish, that’s rotten, that’s rancid,

the love from a couple yes, is romantic but it’s also

effusive, seductive, substantive and when at its best

that seduction’s expansive.
So ask…
Are you a steady source of fun

for those sans plus ones?

Do you find a third wheel stable

Or tap teetering toes beneath the table?

When you feast with lonely friends

Do they laugh and laugh again?

But when they’re in the loo,

They pray the world to end?
If that last feels familiar, you fear it might be the case?

Well, here’s some advice that’ll help you save face:

We “Unwanteds” prefer pairs that can handle their liquor,

Who don’t snicker or bicker or titter or

or lick each others

Earlobes.

In front of us.

In public.

Don’t do that.

It’s gross, honestly.

Enough to kill off a rhyme.

Please, if you’ve done it.

Don’t do it next time.
When your solo buddies stick, it means you’re not a…

…lone together and, sure you are two but when

it works it’s a singular view for jaded old hacks to

stare at your backs as you walk down the aisle and feel

warmth not denial ‘cause as a two you’re no trial or vulgar nor vile

merely twin beacons that mark the edge of a smile.
And some day should you find our presence unbuoying

Perhaps our poems too cloying?

Or that we’re just plain annoying

Don’t blow your lids.

It’s all just good practice

For when you deal with your kids.

—————

Written for Lauren & Mark, The Mighty Mighty Foxcrofts.

Hitched 24th September 2016