Today I received the audience feedback I got from the scratch night at the South Asian Literature Festival. I post it here, to give a fuller idea of the process and response:
“► True Brits by Vinay Patel
Relevant. The humorous edge is most welcome!
Loved the character and his way of juxtaposing reality and his take on it. The character has more potential – the writer can go beyond the obvious.
Great! The play on words was great and could really imagine certain friends that behave like that. Clear storyline and journey without giving away the end before needed. Favourite piece.
Funny bits, well acted monologue.
Funny and insightful. More please! Touching in some places!
Meanders a bit too much. Some excellent description though…the description of family.
Some funny moments but not sure what the message. Might make more sense if I saw the whole play.
Very powerful and engaging. Maybe needs a cut. 4/5
Jai Rajani is an amazing actor. He delivered the monologue so well. It was hard to believe it was even written down.”
I’m fairly happy with all that. Most of the points for improvement involve the piece meandering, without message and possibly in need of a cut. I take these on board, though I was expecting it due to what was shown being the relatively slow opening fifteen minutes. The seemingly meandering bits do all pay off eventually (or so I think they do!), so not too worried about that. Talking to Farokh after, he noted that it needed to get properly going at the point the extract ends, which I assured him it does.
I like the note about the character having more potential – knowing as I do where that character goes, I’d love to talk to the person who wrote that comment after they’ve seen the full piece. I reckon they’ll be satisfied.
EDIT: Click here for the script of the monologue that was performed.