So the Shard inauguration was a bit shit. Basically, if you were north of the river, you had at least something, whereas it seems they didn’t even bother with us southies. Here’s me glad they built the tallest building in the EU on this side of the Thames, only for it to turn its dark, glassy back on us. Give me more lasers, Qatar.
Moving on….I’ve said it before, but my course didn’t make me a good writer, I think that that is mostly a matter of effort and talent (sorry, it does exist but is just a base level…really hard work can make up for it) but it really did help me know when I was being a bad writer.
Today I’ve been looking at some pretty bad writing because I’ve been re-writing Bump. It’s riddled with static conflict.You know what static conflict is? Static conflict is two guys standing outside a KFC shouting “your mum!” at each other. Interesting to a point, and then it better either change the scenery or knock it up or notch – perhaps a slur on an elderly aunt? – else everyone’s going to go watch the homeless guy whistle the Spiderman theme tune through his missing teeth. That’s basically where I am with Bump. I guess it’s inherent in the challenge of writing a forty minute scene between two people without much history and with nothing hugely dramatic happening.
Luckily, I know what I need to shift and there’s a decent play in there. You’ll watch these guys for the whole time and you won’t get bored. Promise. Just give me a week to fix it…