Everything (the specifics are the usual and too boring to be recounted) seems to have come at once, and I felt a bit cowed over the last week. My first proper low for a long time.
In an attempt to get past it, I sat myself down to write and felt that necessary sense of aptitude, control and value. It worked. A little bit, anyway. So knowing that was the case, I threw out every big social engagement I have over the next two weeks (couple of ticketed things aside) deactivated my Facebook, and am knuckling down to it, with the intention of having some solid work and a better disposition by the end of it. I hate being a moody arsehole around my friends, I want to enjoy the good parts of my life and they’re a big part of it.
Happily, it seems to be working, and I’ve moved past this downer far quicker than I used to. Hope for me yet, eh? Can’t wait to see what I’ll be able to do when I’m a normal person.
HOWEVER! As a consequence of all this, my right hand feels like it’s on fire and I’m getting a lot of pain shooting up that arm. Will mention this to the doc when I go for a check up on Friday. It seems like my choice is to feel a distracting, dull, throb from resting that offending claw or sharp pain from using it. Two bad choices – the essence of drama. Brilliant.