February 16th means it’s 30 odd days til I turn 26 and am rudely shorn of the label ‘young’ by various organisations and schemes, including the Royal Court Young Writers, Young Vic/Donmar/National’s discount tickets and the kind Railcard people. I can’t blame them really, got to let the kids have a chance after all, and I am starting to accept just quite how many years I have accumulated. One third of my existence is done with, so one really needs to get on with Being Something as opposed to Having Potential, and continue forming the dense trifle that will be my existence. Perhaps instead of a trifle-to-be, it’s better to consider myself ‘freshly minted’ – forged and ready for the world, but not yet roughed up and run down.
It helps that I have, in the last couple of days, felt obscenely fresh and happy. Not sure where that’s come from. Well, wait…yes I do…
COMPLETELY OBVIOUS CHANGES THAT HAVE MADE MY LIFE BETTER
1) Sleeping – Alex told me yesterday that it takes two weeks to recover from one bad night’s sleep. If that’s true, I’m completely fucked and will spend the rest of my life making up. For now though, three nights in in a row has done wonders.
2) Putting Some Furniture In My Living Room- It’s amazing how a bookshelf, a side table and a couple of cheap lamps can make a place feel so much homelier. Now, along with the kitchen and my bedroom, there’s another place in the flat I actually don’t mind spending time. That’ll be handy when the elevators finally drive me to tears or I’m being a fussy freelancer. Might even go mad and have some guests around, who knows?
3) Quitting My Job – Since deciding to do this, and subsquently handing in my notice, those chest pains I told you about appear to have mostly vanished. Coincidence? Take that, work-life balance.
3) Winning Competitions – The above wouldn’t be so great if not for having made it through a couple of competitive writing briefs on Ideastap. Both should be tremendously useful and provide some great stuff for my CV, but moreover it just gives me the necessary confidence that I will produce some half decent stuff in my “sabbatical” months.
And I certainly am feeling confident all over at the moment, ridiculously so. Maybe my new year routine is making itself felt. It’s moving me towards an attitude of being more considered with my work, and less considered with my actions in life. Move fast, think less. Time to briefly become an anti-intellectual and let myself enjoy things without pondering the consequences so heavily. (Even if that’s kinda how the whole “writing simulator” in my head works – but that’s for another post). I promise that next week I’ll do something ill-advised but massively enjoyable.