I got a message yesterday from Tristan, my sister’s fella. He came to see my Christmas film at the Rob Knox Festival last May. He enjoyed me and asked me to consider entering it into a festival in Oxford. It went in, and was apparently well received (I couldn’t attend due to work commitments, alas). Anyway, he got in contact with me again yesterday and asked if I had anything to submit this year. I had to tell him, sadly, I did not. That’s when it truly gripped me – it’s been over a year and a half since I made a film of my own generation. How have I let this happen? I thought about some comments I’d received, all positive, and feared that I’d squandered a decent, growing reputation through inactivity. Sure, I tell everyone I can’t afford it. I can. I known I can. I suspect, dear reader that you know I can. So, bullshit excuses aside, why haven’t I made anything?! Let me do an honest catalogue: –
– Massive writers block/lack of love & inspiration.
– Lack of discipline.
I’d say it all probably comes down to that last one. It’s plagued me my entire life. Can I change now? Sure, if the love of my life sashayed into my existence, I may find the power to write something of substance. I wouldn’t have need for J.M. Coatzee-esque miseries. But comedy and satire, my traditional strong suites require none of that lovely support.
No excuses, Patel, no excuses.